We hear so much “take a deep breath” as the advice for stressed-out parents and sure this can be a great thing to do. In this article, Emily Hughes, Conscious Parenting Coach and Somatic Therapist breaks down how we can optimise the breath throughout our lives to lower the nervous system baseline so we can be more genuinely centred and grounded, not just using the breath to fight the fire within.
1. Comfy Clothing
This sounds so basic but clothing that restricts movement in the lower part of your body is going to make you stressed. An optimal deep breath involves movement throughout the whole torso. Starting with the diaphragm, belly, all the way down to the pelvic floor, ribs, chest and then a little activation in the collar bones. If you are restricted anywhere in the torso through high waisted jeans, tight belts, tight waistlines then the body will already be in a light state of stress. Add some parenting chaos in there and “poof!” off we go into fight/ flight.
It’s a sad fact that girls receive this torso constriction even more so than boys even from a young age with girls clothing fitting tighter at the waist.
A good check when buying clothes is “Can I take a full breath standing up?” but then… the bit people miss, “Can I take a full breath sitting down?” if you can’t opt for comfier clothing.
2. Checking in with the diaphragm
I don’t know about you but I was taught at school we breathe with our lungs but that’s only half the picture. The lungs are not muscles, they are just sacks. The muscle that is doing all the work in breathing is this sheet of muscle called the diaphragm. The diaphragm moves down when we inhale allowing more room for the air in the lungs which is why your belly gets bigger. When we exhale the diaphragm moves back up, pushing used air out of the nose.
So when you are taking a deep breath we want to think less about the nose and how much air you are getting in there and much more about the diaphragm. Trust in the diaphragm and it will naturally help you breathe more easily. Think of the word “Deep” in deep breath as being “deeper down in the body”.
You can teach your kiddo about diaphragmatic breathing by placing a teddy on their tummy when they are lying down. In an optimal breath, the teddy will gently rise and fall.
3. Nose breathing
Optimal breathing happens through the nose. Nose breathing promotes normal jaw development in kids, better sleep, and more overall calm and good health. Nose breathing also helps you to be less congested so more nose breathing helps nose breathing to be easier. Try these two breathing patterns utilising nose breathing
4:4 Breathing- breath in through the nose for a count of 4 letting the diaphragm do the work, noticing the breath all the way down to the pelvic floor. Exhale through the nose for a count of four.
If 4 is too much, 3 is fine. If 4 feels easy try 5:5. When you balance out the breath it brings balance to the nervous system.
Box Breathing (don’t do this if you are pregnant) - inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4 and hold for 4. This is a calming and mindful breathing technique. The breath hold increases C02 in the body which helps the body to more optimally absorb oxygen. Breath holds have a calming effect and the counting and concentration helps to slow the mind. Kids can do a more simple box breathing 2:2:2:2 or 3:3:3:3.
Emily Hughes
Emily Hughes is a Conscious Parenting Coach and trained Somatic Therapist and Breathwork Coach. She is the founder of Finding Flow Parenting www.findingflowparenting.coach. 2.3k+ on Instagram www.instagram.com/findingflowparenting She works with individuals and couples to find more ease and regulation in family life.